Choosing a mentor is a significant commitment. As a senior leader you will bring real challenges, decisions and confidential issues to the conversation, so trust and confidence in the relationship is essential.

It is natural to wonder what happens if something does not feel right. A strong mentoring partnership welcomes questions, review and honest reflection. Addressing concerns early protects momentum, trust and the value you gain.

This is not a sign of weakness. It is simply good leadership practice.

Why this question matters

At senior level the quality of your thinking space has a direct impact on the business. If the mentoring relationship feels uncomfortable in the wrong way, unclear, unproductive or strained, you should feel able to raise that without hesitation.

The right mentor will not react defensively. They will listen, explore and adjust with you.

What signs suggest a conversation is needed

You may want to speak up if you notice any of the following

• The sessions feel less relevant or useful
• You are not seeing progress on the goals you set
• The mentor does not seem to understand your context or pressures
• The conversations feel rushed or unfocused
• You feel judged rather than challenged constructively
• Something does not feel aligned with your values or working style

These moments are normal in a professional relationship. The key is how they are handled.

How to raise the concern

A respectful, direct conversation is usually the most effective path. For example

I want to talk about how our sessions are working for me. I want to get the most from this partnership and think there are areas we could adjust.

A good mentor will welcome this and explore what needs to change.

What you should expect from a professional mentor

A professional mentor will

• Listen without taking it personally
• Ask questions to understand your concern
• Clarify expectations
• Agree adjustments to style, structure or focus
• Review progress again at the next session

This builds trust and shows shared commitment to your development.

What if you do not feel able to raise the concern directly

In some cases a pause helps. Reflect on what you want and why you hesitated. It may be worth expressing that hesitation itself. Strong mentors can handle tough conversations. It is part of the work.

If you still feel it is not right, you can end the engagement professionally. Sometimes relationships simply do not align. That is human, not failure.

When it may be time to change mentor

If after discussion and adjustment you still feel

• Trust is missing
• There is little value
• The fit is not right

Then stepping back or choosing a different mentor is the right call. Senior leaders need the right thinking partner, not just a polite one.

What this tells you as a buyer

Before you commit, ask any prospective mentor

• How do we review whether the engagement is working
• How do we address concerns
• Can I change approach if needed
• What happens if I decide it is not the right fit

The answers will show you how they work.

Final thought for prospective mentees

The ability to raise concerns honestly is a sign of confidence and maturity. A mentoring relationship should provide a safe and constructive space for exactly these conversations.

Choose a mentor who encourages you to speak up, listens fully and adjusts when needed. That is the foundation for trust, growth and high quality leadership thinking.